You know when grown-ups tell you ‘everything’s going to be fine’ and you think they’re probably lying to make you feel better? I’m nobody’s taxi service; I’m not gonna be there to catch you every time you feel like jumping out of a spaceship. It’s a fez. I wear a fez now. Fezes are cool.

Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. Father Christmas. Santa Claus. Or as I’ve always known him: Jeff. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! You’ve swallowed a planet! All I’ve got to do is pass as an ordinary human being. Simple. What could possibly go wrong? Stop talking, brain thinking. Hush.

They’re not aliens, they’re Earth…liens! No… It’s a thing; it’s like a plan, but with more greatness. *Insistently* Bow ties are cool! Come on Amy, I’m a normal bloke, tell me what normal blokes do! I hate yogurt. It’s just stuff with bits in.